Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize