and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
