dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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