Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
