My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
