Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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