hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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