i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
