At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
