sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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