were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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