If i could tip my vagina, i would.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
