Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
