Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
