Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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