I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
