can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
