just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
