You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
