you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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