u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
