There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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