i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Girls should come with a carfax report
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
