My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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