Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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