Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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