I intend to get homeless drunk
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
