Screwed.edu
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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