And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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