okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Terrible idea I love it
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
