It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
