I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
