I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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