just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
