My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
