Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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