Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
