I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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