I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize