the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
