He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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