Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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