where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
