I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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