i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
this beer tastes like vomit already
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize