I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
