Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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