he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
