i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"