miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.