I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
