College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
