Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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