Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
