Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
