I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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