Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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